COMPUTER

WOMEN

Comes with manuals

How the hell does this thing work?

Multi-function mouse

Multi-function mouth

Hard metal case

Soft skin

Does EXACTLY what you tell it

Often intelligent

Does what you tell it

Often asks "why" or says "no"

Doesn't talk (much)

(Yet) talks constantly

No reproductive capacity

Gets pregnant at awkward times

Upkeep minimal

Upkeep a major part of budget

Usually gray or cream-colored

Choice of several colors

Can turn it off

Demands attention

Looks impressive on desk

Looks impressive on arm

Sits there naked

Spends money on clothes

Batch files automate activities

Likes variety

Many GIF files

Insists on monogamy

Doesn't care if you shower

Insists on cleanliness

Can help you with budget

Destroys budget

Operating system insures rules

Change without warning